Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
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Slut skills are useful in every country.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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