she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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