Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
