just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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