Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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