Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
