Apparently you make a good broom.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
