jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize