I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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