she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
