What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
