Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
