i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
They are going to name an STD after you.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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