im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
