I hope mine doesn't look like that
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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