How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
