NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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