You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
