Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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