i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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