I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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