remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
