I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
We have started to decorate penises.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
