I will die if light touches me.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
