Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
So here I am, sexting at work.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
