i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
