Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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