does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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