Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
