I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
