lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
