next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
