MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
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Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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