I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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