I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
