She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
