see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
thus making me awesome and them whores
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I need a beard to bite.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
