she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
