If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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