doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
