i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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