i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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