im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize