xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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