I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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