i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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