Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
