i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
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So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
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You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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