Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
