In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
