batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
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Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
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It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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