ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
