its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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