Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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