brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
