ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Ladies don't puke and tell
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
