Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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