You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
