She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
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Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
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When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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