I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
