coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
