can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
