oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
